If you’ve ever spent way too long rewriting an email, fixing a “flaw” in your project that no one else noticed, or avoiding something altogether because you didn’t think you could do it perfectly—that’s perfectionism—and it’s more common than most people think.
But while perfectionism might sound like a harmless drive to do your best, it can actually do more harm than good. It often walks hand-in-hand with anxiety, making everyday tasks feel overwhelming and draining. Let’s break down what perfectionism really is and how it connects to your mental health.
What Is Perfectionism, Really?
Perfectionism isn’t just about liking things neat and tidy. It’s a mindset where you feel like nothing you do is ever quite good enough. You might set unrealistically high standards for yourself, beat yourself up over small mistakes, or constantly worry about how others perceive you.
There are a few different types of perfectionism:
- Self-oriented perfectionism: You place pressure on yourself to be flawless.
- Other-oriented perfectionism: You expect others to meet your high standards.
- Socially prescribed perfectionism: You believe others expect you to be perfect, even if they don’t say it.
These mindsets can make you feel stuck, like you’re always chasing an impossible goal.
How Perfectionism Fuels Anxiety
Here’s where it gets tricky. Perfectionism doesn’t just stay in its own lane. It often feeds directly into anxiety. When you hold yourself to impossible standards, you’re constantly worried about failing, disappointing others, or being judged.
That fear can lead to:
- Overthinking every decision
- Avoiding tasks because you’re afraid you won’t do them “right”
- Feeling physically tense or on edge
- Difficulty sleeping or relaxing
And when you do make a mistake? Cue the spiral of self-criticism. This kind of pressure builds up over time and can take a serious toll on your mental health.
Signs You Might Be Struggling with Perfectionism
It’s not always easy to recognize perfectionism in yourself, especially if you’ve lived with it for a long time. But here are a few red flags to watch for:
- You procrastinate—not because you’re lazy, but because starting feels too overwhelming.
- You avoid situations where there’s a risk of failure.
- You feel like your worth depends on your achievements.
- You obsess over past mistakes or dwell on things that didn’t go as planned.
Sound familiar? If so, it’s worth taking a step back and reassessing how perfectionism might be impacting your life.
So, What Can You Do About It?
The good news: you can break free from perfectionistic thinking. It takes time and practice, but it’s absolutely possible.
Start by giving yourself permission to be human. That means making mistakes, learning from them, and recognizing that “done” is often better than “perfect.”
You can also try:
- Setting realistic goals: Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress.
- Challenging negative self-talk: Notice when you’re being overly critical and reframe your thoughts.
- Practicing self-compassion: Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend.
- Talking to someone: A therapist can help you understand where your perfectionism comes from and how to manage it.
This Is More Common Than You Think
If perfectionism and anxiety have been weighing you down, know that you’re not the only one dealing with this. Many people feel the same pressure—and many are learning how to let go of it.
You don’t have to be flawless to be worthy, successful, or respected. Learning to accept yourself, flaws and all, might be the most freeing thing you ever do.
If this resonates with you, consider reaching out to a licensed counselor or therapist to ask about anxiety therapy. Support is available, and you don’t have to handle everything on your own.
