The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and gratitude. But for many men, this season can bring something very different: irritability, exhaustion, anger, or a low mood. If you find yourself feeling more tense, short-tempered, or withdrawn during the holidays, you’re not alone. This time of year can hit hard.
At my Denver practice, I often see an increase in men reaching out during the holidays, often saying things like, “I don’t feel like myself,” or “I’m more angry than usual and I don’t know why.” These experiences are common, especially when stress and depression intersect.
Holidays Can Be Hard
The holiday season tends to amplify pressure. There are expectations around family gatherings, finances, gift-giving, work deadlines, and travel in addition to the usual responsibilities. For many men, there’s also an unspoken expectation to hold it together and keep things moving.
When stress builds without an outlet, it often comes out as anger or irritability. For men, anger is one of the most socially acceptable emotions to express, which means sadness, grief, or depression may hide underneath it.
How Depression Shows Up Differently in Men
Depression during the holidays doesn’t always look like sadness. In men, it often shows up as:
- Irritability or anger
- Emotional numbness
- Loss of motivation
- Increased drinking or distractions
- Pulling away from relationships
These signs are often dismissed as “holiday stress,” but when they linger, they deserve attention.
Anger as a Sign, Not the Problem
Anger itself isn’t the enemy. It’s information. During the holidays, anger often masks deeper feelings like disappointment, loneliness, grief, or feeling unappreciated.
If emotions weren’t discussed or welcomed growing up, it can feel unfamiliar — or unsafe — to sit with these underlying feelings. Many men cope by staying busy, working more, or checking out emotionally, which often intensifies anger and depression over time.
The Link Between Anger and Depression in Men
Anger and depression are closely linked, especially for men. When sadness or hopelessness goes unexpressed, it can turn outward as frustration or inward as withdrawal.
The holidays can intensify this cycle. Social gatherings may feel draining. Quiet moments may feel heavier. The gap between how things are “supposed” to feel and how they actually feel can deepen depression.
Recognizing this connection is a powerful step toward change.
Healthier Ways to Navigate the Holiday Season
You don’t need to force holiday cheer. Instead, focus on staying grounded and realistic.
Helpful steps include:
- Setting reasonable expectations
- Creating space for yourself
- Be mindful of alcohol
- Staying physically active
- Talking to someone you trust
Small adjustments can make a meaningful difference.
How Therapy Helps Men During the Holidays
Therapy provides a confidential, non-judgmental space to understand what’s coming up emotionally. Whether you’re feeling angry, disconnected, or low, therapy helps identify patterns and build healthier ways of coping.
At my practice in Denver’s Highlands neighborhood, I work with men experiencing anger, depression, stress, and emotional shutdown — especially during challenging seasons like the holidays.
You’re Not Failing the Holidays
If this season feels heavy, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means something inside you needs attention — and that awareness can be the start of real change.
You don’t have to wait until the holidays are over to get support. If anger or depression is showing up more than usual, depression therapy is available now.
